Tapeworms and Direct TV

Staples

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OK so two days in a row of weight loss stories, but this was to good to hold on to.  Ridiculous – YES but people are doing these things.

The Feeding tube Diet – just as it sounds. People elect to have a feeding tube run through their nose and fed a mere 800 calories a day.  Ummm unless you staple your pie hole shut, you can still drink Dr. Pepper and Powerade while munching on mmm  mmm good Cheetos. So to me it seems like you still need some self control.

Speaking of Staples – EAR STAPLING – just as it sounds. People elect to Staple their ears to their head for a few weeks and when the staples are removed, so is the urge to over eat.  I’m not a doctor, but I play one on this blog and here is the thing….your body has it’s own electrical system.  Once we start shoving pennies in fuse boxes or nails in the electrical sockets of our body, we’re going to do some damage. (don’t get me going on Piercings) Anyway stapling your ears to your head should only be done in cases where your ears are so big that water will pond in them or riding with the car window down lowers your fuel economy from wind drag.

TAPEWORMS – yup taking pills laced with Tapeworms to play host to parasites that will consume your food.  How is it legal to sell people Tapeworms for weight loss purposes?   I think they should’ve developed a way to eat cocoons. That way as you lose weight you can tell people without grossing them out.  “Yeah I’ve lost 25 pounds so far, I look and feel so good, I’ve got butterflies!”  They would never need to know just how literal that statement is.

Direct TV and VIACOM are warring it out over rates. They haven’t had a new deal in over 7 years.  My guess, and remember I’m a doctor, is that a rate hike is coming,  just not as much as Viacom would like.

As you can now tell we are no longer talking about diet tricks, unless losing VH1 and Comedy Central makes you shed the El Bees.

Luke Bryan was being criticized for using cheat notes on the Star Spangled Banner – that full story is  on the Buzn main page.

Mariah Shriver reportedly has told Taylor Swift to stay away from her 18 year old son Patrick. Huh.

And seriously Charlie Sheen as an American Idol Judge? Put Ozzy and Charles Barkley in there and we’re good to go for another 11 years.