Reporting Shayne Wells
It’s the closest thing to one of those spring break celebrations you see on MTV that I’ve ever been involved in and it happens right here in Minnesota. I’m talking about the always memorable trip to Big Island on Lake Minnetonka. If you haven’t been before, it’s wild. At least one hundred boats, each with an average of 6 people, anchor within a few feet of each other. There seems to be an unspoken competition involving music volume and red solo cups are plentiful, and they’re not just filled with pop.
The few times I’ve been to Big Island I’ve had a blast. But unlike Vegas, what happens in Minnetonka does not stay in Minnetonka.
Here are the highlights:
- Injuries: My shin looks like it may have been crushed between two boats. The sight of the bruises almost made Paul Koffy throw up in his mouth (this isn’t saying much since he has a ‘sensitive’ stomach today but still I thought it was worth noting). While I’m not 100% sure where these bad boys came from, I can surmise what action most likely resulted in my fancy new markings and it involves boat hopping. It seemed like a good idea to see how far I could get without going in the water by jumping from boat to boat. Keep in mind these are boats that I was not invited on. Luckily, everyone was friendly when I told them I was just passing through. I think we made it six boats before the distance became too much and we headed back to our boat by water this time.
- Zebra Mussels are for real! My boyfriend sliced his foot on a rock. He grabbed the sharp rock to get a closer look, and sure enough it had these infamous creatures on it. Instead of taking the specimen out of the water he just threw it back. Fail!
- I made friends with another non-native species; a parrot. It’s not everyday you see a man walking around with a large parrot. I think he was using it as a tool to talk to women. Let’s just say.. it worked. I, like many others, waited patiently for my turn to take a picture with the gorgeous bird on my shoulder. It was all fun and games until the bird decided it wanted to eat my hippie headband. Have you seen the beaks on those things? You don’t want one of those pecking at your head, trust me. All that matters is I survived.
- In conclusion: I left this Big Island adventure with a few awkward sunburns (my boyfriend is apparently horrible at putting sunscreen on my back), horrendous bruises and most importantly, some fantastic memories.